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Last week I shared an article that introduced the difficult topic we explored today at Relevant. With abuse being so prevalent in our culture, it’s likely that you’ll encounter one or more victims if you haven’t already. However, time constraints prevented me from sharing all that I wanted to share. Below are a few of these thoughts that I hope will help you be an encouragement to someone who has been affected by abuse.


  • Why didn’t you tell me sooner?
  • Why are you so upset? It happened years ago.
  • Stop crying and put it behind you.
  • Why didn’t you do something about it while it was happening?
  • I can’t believe you didn’t get out or make them stop.
  • I’m going to find them and kill them.
  • Don’t tell anyone else; we will handle this ourselves.
  • Did you bring this on yourself in some way?
  • It’s time that you move on and just get over it.


  • I love you no matter what happened or what you tell me.
  • No matter what, I’m with you until the very end.
  • We’re going to get through this together by the grace of God.
  • You are so brave and courageous, and I’m proud of you for being honest.
  • You are more beautiful to me than you’ve ever been.
  • The love of Jesus will sustain you.
  • I may not understand all you are feeling, but I will try.
  • Be honest with me, but also be patient with me as I try to understand.
  • I will go to counseling with you when you are ready.
  • We will get you the help you need no matter the cost or how difficult the process.
  • What happened is NOT your fault.

Remember, if you have been affected by abuse and would like help, text STORIES to 55469 or email We will contact you confidentially.

Carl Nichols

A native of south Atlanta, Carl has a passion for God, Julie, and sports. He and Julie have two sons, Jase and Trey. They have a heart to see people understand how crazy God is about them! Carl is the Lead Pastor at Relevant.

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